i found this on texasracingscene.com i havent heard a good joke like this in awhile


A man went to his appointment with the urologist. In
> the examining room he told the doctor, "Don't laugh!"
>
> "Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a
> professional. In more than twenty years I've never
> Laughed at a patient."
>
> "Okay then," the man said, and proceeded to drop his
> trousers, revealing the tiniest 'willie' the doctor
> had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than a triple A
> battery.
>
> Unable to control himself, the doctor started
> giggling, then fell to the floor laughing
> hysterically. Ten minutes later he was able to
> struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
>
> "I'm so sorry," he said. "I really am. I don't know
> what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a
> gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now, what
> seems to be the problem?"
>
>
> "It's swollen," the man replied .
__________________

LMAO! thats a good one.. hahaha

haha very nice. Heard this one the other day....

A kid walked into a whore house dragging this dead frog behind him on a rope. He goes to the woman at the front desk and says I want to have sex with the nastiest woman with as many diseases as possible!
The woman at the front desk says "ok" and sends the kid into a room. A little later he comes walking down the stairs still dragging this dead frog behind him on this piece of rope. The woman at the front desk can't take it anymore and asks "Why did you ask for the woman with the most diseases?"
The kid replied "Well, now I have the disease. When I go home and have sex with my babysitter I will give her the disease. Then later that night my dad will take her home and have sex with her which will give him the disease. Then in the morning he will have sex with my mom and give her the disease. When my dad leaves for work then the milk man will come over and have sex with my mom giving him this horrible disease. And that's the Son of a Bitch who ran over my damn frog!"

sadly enough an 80 year old man told me that joke. sick humor.

Hear is another one the old man sent me through email...

Last week was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well,
that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quite bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying ! a huge birthday cake ...

Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...

Naked.

damn woudlnt wanna piss that kid off.. evil scheming sob...